This has been one of those I’d-like-to-rewrite-Ecclesiastes, i.e., everything-is-chasing-after-the-wind weeks. As soon as I make another sacrifice in my diet, a new problem with my body seems to arise. I spend extra money, time, effort, and self-control to be disciplined with my diet and there are moments when it does not seem to show great results. I know that God is using it to teach me, and I know that the process of healing takes time… however. This week I am an impatient, rain-on-the-rooftop nagging, complaining and envying, grouchy, frumpy girl who has chosen not to hope in the joy of salvation of God and His provident plan.
“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:2-5)
The greek word for hope is elpis. Elpis is defined as expectation of good; joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation.
The expectation of good. Hm. I am a realist, toeing the line of pessimist. Expecting good is not always my natural instinct, especially in a tough circumstance.
“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (1 Pet 3:4)
Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. (definition, studylight.org)
Expecting and Accepting good. Can I? Must I?
If I choose meekness, I choose not to dispute or resist. But I am the queen of whining! Resisting the Great Almighty is so futile. Why do I resist that which is meant for good? His Word says that in all things He works for my good. So why do I complain?
Simple. Because I don’t believe Him.
I don’t believe He will do what He has promised, to bring good. I don’t hope because I don’t want God to let me down. Newsflash: I’m a doubter.
If I believe God’s Word, God’s character, I know that He does not fail. I know that He does not knowingly impose affliction on His children. I know that His plans for me are GOOD. Not to harm me but to give me hope.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
Definition of ‘peace’: “of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is.” (studylight.org)
Whatever my earthly lot, to be assured and fear not. Of any sort, to hope. To have joy in hope, joy in salvation. Hope. Joy. Peace. This girl needs some heart transformation.
God, heal my unbelief. Help me to choose to hope in you as I allow you to mold my heart. Restore me to the joy of your salvation. May I find peace in assurance of your provision, love, and salvation. I choose to believe that you are working for my good, though I don’t always feel it. YOU are good, Father, and you never change. Thank you for your salvation, for without it, there would be no hope.
You may call this venting but it is full of hope and healing for me and I am certain for others. I can see that our God is already working your circumstance for His good. I needed this today because I find myself in a similar way; many challenges are before me at once, but I manage somehow to get through each day, remembering that this all just temporal. Whatever my body is going through, I am reminded that this is just my earthly shell and one day it will be perfect. My daily life seems to belong to 4 dogs-one with major anxiety and one who is confused about where to go potty, two teenagers and a house that needs a lot of attention and upkeep with new problems sprouting up here and there. My goal now is to just get through each day and hope that my Father would be happy with how I handled just today. I get a fresh start tomorrow!
ReplyDelete"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matt. 6:34).
Thank you for your sharing and your openness.
Jen, loved looking back at this. Thanks for your encouragement! ❤️
ReplyDelete